I had one foot out the door. I'm sorry, it's just always like that. I let you down. You said "roots" and I only pictured chains. Is it better to roam the earth or fly above? The ariel view allows me to see the spots that are dead, have lost growth. But looking you in the eye levels me and everything surrounding us disappears. New York City skyscrappers disappear. Forefathers disappear. pasts and futures disappear. Anxiety disappears. Seeing disappears. Hunger, curiosity, drive. Disappear, disappear, disappear...
She couldn't keep it in her pants. Her mind, that is. She sat witnessing. Witnessing you witnessing her. She prayed. She doesn't pray. She got rational. And talked calmly. Some would say--way to go, others had the chance to be suspicious. She said, to herself, that she knew. She knew, right? Like that time, in that bed, when she felt the embarking. Was it the future or a lucky shot.
Knowing that roots cause pain, knowing that flying causes pain, can you love me. I hate marking questions. Seeing me as a little girl, seeing me as an eighty year old woman, did you spend your days without me. The upside down wine and the right side up cake, never did I doubt our world, just me in it. I have no discipline. You have no vision. There was that day, you changed your mind. There was that day I changed mine. Say what I need to say? Okay.
You don't begin to live until you've lost everything.